We all experience self-talk. It is the almost constant stream of thoughts commenting on, judging, and making sense of all that is around you. Self-talk can be helpful and a beneficial habit when it is positive. Unfortunately, most of us are prone to negative self-talk which makes dramatic sweeping statements painting circumstances in an unfavorable light.

Becoming aware of your self-talk is the first step towards a habit of positive self-talk.

What is Positive Self-Talk?

Before defining positive self-talk, let’s first define negative self-talk. That is anything that causes you to feel bad, sad, angry, frustrated, overwhelmed, valueless, afraid, paranoid, hopeless, weak, or timid. You get the point.

Positive self-talk is anything that causes you to feel happy, valued, confident, courageous, strong, special, extraordinary, good, hopeful, or joyful. Doesn’t this sound better than negative self-talk?

Why is Positive Self-Talk a Good Habit?

Your self-talk will determine how you show up at work, the condition of your relationships, and the quality of your life.

Positive self-talk sees opportunities instead of problems. Focusing on problems will cause your life to be difficult. Focusing on opportunities allows you to go places you may have never gone before.

Positive self-talk tells us that there is a solution when problems arise. When we see our circumstances as dire, we close ourselves off to the positive results that may come in the midst of difficulty. Believing there is a solution doesn’t take the sting away from a problem but moves your thinking to an eventual positive outcome instead of a negative one.

Frankly, it’s easier to let the negative self-talk reign. Why is that? It may be our divisive culture which thrives on negative news instead of positive stories. It may be that our spirit is more closely aligned with bad outcomes instead of good ones. And it may simply be that our bodies are unhealthy, and we don’t “feel” well enough to be positive. Fear is a big driver of negative self-talk and is prevalent in our world today.

It takes a little more intention to have positive self-talk. This, like most good habits, takes effort to form but will reward with far more than the effort you put in. Just like eating a healthy diet, your body feels better when well fed with foods that it likes. When you fill your stomach with junk food, you may feel good in the moment but pay for it for hours afterward.

Imagine being able to face any challenge by seeing the possibilities instead of the pitfalls. Imagine seeing solutions instead of simply seeing problems. Imagine being hopeful for positive outcomes even when the solution isn’t obvious. The habit of positive self-talk will do all these things.

Having positive self-talk will give you more energy and cause you to feel lighter while negative self-talk drags you down.

How Can You Form the Habit of Positive Self-Talk?

I was a victim to negative self-talk for most of my life. The biggest reason was that I didn’t realize it! Once I discovered how damaging and difficult it was to live this way, I worked to rid myself of it. Believe it or not, it took less 2 weeks to stop this bad habit. Awareness was the first step.

1. Become aware of your self-talk. Pay attention to the things you hear in your mind.

2. Do not believe every thought that comes into your awareness. Test it against the truth.

3. If you have a negative thought, write it down. See if it is the truth. If not, replace the statement with something less inflammatory that speaks the truth.

4. Do this writing exercise until you can catch your negative thoughts and replace them without writing them out.

5. Pay attention to what you are saying (out loud) about yourself or others. Any negative talk comes from your thoughts. These negative thoughts and words do no hurt others but do hurt you.

6. Work with another person to become aware and reduce your negative talk.