Originally Authored 12/6/14

Whose Fault Is It?

Have you ever blamed your life’s problems on someone else?  Was it your parents or friends that caused you to behave in ways that have moved you to a place in your life that you do not like?  This blog is designed to challenge your thinking and take control of your life.

marriage and conflict

(Over) Analyzing the Blame

When my husband & I got married, we were immediately struck with the differences in our up bringing from what a Saturday morning’s activities were supposed to look like to how to treat each other when we were sick.  As an analyzer, I quickly identified the practices of the homes we grew up in as a way to explain our differences.  I came up with a reason for every quirky disagreement we had. 

How Is the Blame Helping?

Thinking about what happened in the first 18 years of our individual lives did nothing to solve the problem of the day.  To move forward, I had to let go of my automatic pilot responses and take responsibility for my life.  Mike & I had a new and unique relationship and that is where my thoughts were best focused.

Where Do You Go With the Blame?

If you are an adult, it is time to take the reins of your life.  Which of your quirks is causing dissention in relationships (remember, identifying his quirks does no good as you can not control him or his quirks)?  What bad patterns are you mimicking like a zombie?  What are you willing to change to live a good life?  Running away from the problem or blaming others is never the answer.

Think of a situation today that is bothering you.  Identify it and then rephrase it as “I am having difficulty because I am unwilling to (fill in the blank).”  You see how easy that is?  It’s called personal responsibility and it is the only thing that will allow you to quit blaming others and fix the problem yourself. 

Love yourself enough to walk into the adult world and play the game well.