Originally Authored 12/22/14
Men and women are each given to a certain bent or disposition in how they handle life. Although we all know a drama queen or two, men have their own type of drama as they act on their insecurities and create chaos in the lives of those around them. Let’s explore drama kings and queens and recognize our own propensity toward the extremes.
I have certainly created drama. There have been times where I’ve pouted when I didn’t get my way, been aloof when not feeling the love from friends, screamed when frustrated, and spouted anger at what I perceived as unfairness. In each of these situations, the scenario created in my mind strayed far from reality and served to expose my pain and insecurity.
Society allows women to use their emotions to their determent. The idea that women can change their mind with no need to explain or suffer consequences feeds the dysfunctional female who is unwilling to put on her big girl panties and face the music. We allow the ‘fragile females’ to burst out in tears and get away without making decisions or taking criticism. Even worse, we allow cleavage and a skin tight dress to take precedence over logic or long-term consequences.
Likewise, our society allows men to use their lack of emotion to their determent. We allow men to pull the emotional plug as they refuse to engage in the difficulties of developing a relationship or parenting their children. We allow them to ‘bring home the bacon’ as a substitute for emotional engagement. Even worse, we allow men who can kick, throw, or hit a ball get away with almost anything as we substitute athletic abilities for positive human characteristics.
Are You Creating Drama?
Where are you creating drama? Is there an area of your life where you avoid a discussion or the pain by creating a distraction? As a woman, do you defer to your partner when you don’t want to make a decision? Are you afraid to be wrong? Is it easier to blame him if things go array? Do you trust yourself? As a man, are you letting your partner take care of the ‘soft’ things in your life, including taking care of your parents in their old age, listening to your children’s fears without judgment, or planning get-togethers with friends?
Take the Challenge
This week, question each time you ask or expect your partner to do something for you. Is it something you could do yourself? Can you identify why you aren’t doing it for yourself? How would you handle that situation if your partner were gone?
There is absolutely room for helping each other out because of your different skill sets. Be cautious, however, that ‘the real you’ is not hiding behind society’s excuses for bad behavior.