Have you ever felt so tired and unmotivated that you don’t want to get out of bed? Yeah, me too.
Have you ever felt stupid because you couldn’t understand something? Yeah, me too.
Have you ever resigned yourself to the circumstances, not believing anything will change? Yeah, me too.
These describe what it feels like to be stuck. Like a dog caught in a fence, you are unable to move forward and feel the sting of your capture.
Here’s the good news. It’s always possible to get unstuck, and I’m not using the word always lightly. Stuck is a state where your body, mind, or spirit has you immobilized. There is always a way to heal and strengthen your body, mind, and spirit.
NO SHAME
Everyone gets stuck at one time or another. Now more than ever, people are feeling stuck due to the stresses of the pandemic. In a recent New York Times article, this feeling is defined as ‘languishing’.
It could be that you’re not satisfied with your job and don’t know what to do about it, don’t think there are better possibilities out there, or are just afraid to make a change. Many people have faced this dilemma.
Or it could be that you want to be happier with your life. You can be stuck with the mindset that the present will determine your future, or you don’t know what to do to change it.
We get stuck wanting what ‘they’ have, stuck with difficult people, or stuck not knowing the solution. It’s common. It’s normal. And it’s for a good reason that I’ll describe below.
For the record, you may be able to crown me Queen of Stuck. It took me 35 years to get out from under the ravages of depression. My body created all kinds of discomfort and I believed it would always be that way. Many of my relationships were rocky. And although I was a faith-filled person, my idea of God was skewed, and it didn’t serve me well.
Maybe you feel stuck too.
AWARENESS
There was a chicken factory that was losing 25 cents on every chicken it sold. Do you know what their solution was? Sell more chickens! Um, no, that just means they lose more money.
This is something you already know but let me put it in italics to make the point.
You cannot solve a problem you don’t understand.
Did that land?
It can be the same with us.
I am in a bad relationship. They need to fix themselves! They are the problem!
I don’t like my job. It’s my crazy boss, the long hours, the pressure, and my low pay. The company needs to change! That’s the problem!
I want to lose 10 pounds. My body cannot lose the weight. It’s an impossible problem!
DEFINE THE PROBLEM
A problem is something you can solve, and a situation is something you cannot.
When you define the problem correctly, there are steps to take to solve it. If you define the problem as a situation, there is nothing to be done about it.
You cannot change your friend, the company you work at, or your body if you believe it is impossible.
Problems have solutions.
The Reason Stuck is Good - Problems and Solutions
Being stuck is a signal that you want something new. Be grateful you’re stuck! Rejoice you’re stuck! Just don’t stay there for the rest of your life.
You are in a bad relationship. That is the situation. The problem is you do not have the right skills for this relationship. Gaining relationship skills is a solution to improve the relationship.
You don’t like your job. This is the situation. The problem is you are dissatisfied. A solution is to get a new one that you are satisfied with.
You want to lose 10 pounds and believe it’s impossible. This is the situation. The problem is you desire something that you believe is impossible. Changing your beliefs or mindset is a solution to desiring what you believe can be true.
This is the way life works. Problems have solutions. Situations do not.
BELIEF
You must believe there is a solution to your problem to have it work. The solution may not be easy. It may not even be what you want to do. But the truth is, it is easier to get unstuck by solving the problem than staying there.
Do you believe it?
My journey with depression lasted a long time. It was very difficult when the ‘experts’ gave me their solutions and they didn’t help. Deep inside of me, however, I held the belief that there was a solution and I just needed to find it.
Until you believe there is a solution to your problem, you will be stuck with it. Go out on a limb and tell yourself out loud that there is a solution. Google the question and see what others have come up with (and be discerning about the content). Write down, “I believe there is a solution to my problem!” and post it somewhere you can see it. Believe.
Rejoice that you know you are stuck! Define it as a problem you can solve instead of a situation that you cannot. Believe there is a solution.